Breaking Wind

The latest stories from the Varne News Hound

Jono Dunnett is back on the move after his break!


The future's bright the future is electric.

Ethanol in petrol causes all sorts of grief, from a safety boat point of view 5 litres of petrol can easily go sour in as little as a month making engines impossible to start.

See here for an alternative



It was pointed out that The Varne Boat Club lacked somewhere to put your valuables when on the water, I guess we're talking lockers. The VBC may not have money for this and there may not be room for them but if anybody knows of some that need a new home please give a heads up.

Ebay has



Retro Shave.

Fed up with irritation when you shave then it’s time to turn back the clock and use what your grandfather did. The old fashioned safety razor is making a comeback, gentler on the skin, much easier on your pocket and helping save the planet from plastic. Here’s one with adjustable blade exposure.


This is about looking after the planet.

There is no way we will be discussing shaving habits here but if you want to be more environmentally aware here’s an article for you.


Do you pee on your foot or let someone else do it?

Don’t be fooled by this old rubbish it does not help. Check out the NHS what to do for Jellyfish stings and other sea creature stings.


Warning: This is not a Christmas Cracker Joke.

When is a Safety Knife not a Safety Knife?

When it’s blunt.

Have you tested yours?


Jono Dunnett is back online!

He has not re-started windsurfing yet, but a new blog update is there if anyone fancies a windsurf around Menorca?

Just google Jonno Dunnett Europe and follow his progress.


Settings Tips for a Laser.

About half way through there is a very interesting bit about how to set the Toe Strap tension. Tight for upwind and backed off for downwind. Definitely for advanced Knoties.


A few thoughts on getting out of dire do do
Watch the video on this page.


Alien Spaceship lands on beach near Littlestone Area 6.2

Samples taken from the surface of the spaceship clearly show there is life on other planets. The propulsion unit looks to have been ejected leaving the centre of the spacecraft empty. Ogilvy, the astronomer, said “the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one but standing close to the propulsion unit would make you glow in the dark”.

Two aliens were seen exiting the spaceship apparently going for a Curry and a Lager, they haven’t been seen since, who needs Red Weed.

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Plastic Facts


The USA gets through approximately 500 million plastic straws every day, these are used for a few minutes then discarded, they will take lifetimes to degrade.

In the UK MacDonald's serves 3.5 million people every day, if you don't need a plastic straw or plastic coffee cup lid then tell them!

Weatherspoons have stopped using plastic straws in their 900 pubs this has saved 70 million straws annually in the UK being thrown away.

90% of litter on UK beaches is PLASTIC!

12 million tons of plastic gets dumped in our oceans every year, rubbish washing up on UK beaches has increased by 10% in the last year!

Two local girls in Bali aged 10 & 12 years old eventually got the government to ban plastic bags in Bali.

See their campaign :- Bye Bye Plastic Bags.

Starboard the world's largest manufacturer of windsurfing and SUP equipment have totally changed their company around to become carbon neutral. Every time you buy a Starboard board, Starboard plant a mangrove tree in the Thor Heyerdahl Climate Park in Myanmar. Each tree will absorb up to a ton of co2 over 20 Years, so far Starboard have planted over 100,000 mangrove trees, enough to compensate over ten times the companies total co2 emissions.

The production of plastic water bottles uses 17 million

barrels of oil per year, it takes 3 times the water to make the bottle than it does to fill it.

A.I.R: Plastic strategy stands for
AVOID: Say no to plastic, use recyclable products
INTERCEPT: Recycle plastic where ever you can
REDESIGN: Use lifetime water bottles instead of single use bottles


Starboard Blue - Blue Life.

The Mission Parley.

Bye Bye Plastic.

The story of stuff, bottled water.

Trash Hero.


Whacky Races.

Blokart Regatta

Saturday 10 March 2018

And they're off, well I think they are. Yet again The Varne Boat Club is host to the Blokart Regatta. Fantastic people braving the weather for 5 hours non stop racing. Then some serious partying tonight and back to the racing tomorrow.

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One racey lady.

Saturday 10 March 2018

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Second time out and really getting the hang of it.


That’s the way to do it.

Saturday 10 March 2018

Look where you want to go and check it is safe.

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Then give it stick.

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Impressive that someone so young has got his head screwed on and playing safe.


Advertise the Varne Boat Club and you get a free beer.

Saturday 10 March 2018

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Perhaps we could all chip in for a shave, facial and anti wrinkle cream! If only you could keep him out of the news!


The Silver Haired Racing Machine.

Saturday 10 March 2018

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This years  planned day for the Push The Boat Out, is:
Saturday May 5th 13.00hrs- 17.30hrs

On offer are the usual windsurfing, SUP, kayaking and sailing, we will supply all the equipment, wetsuits, buoyancy aids and instruction. It is essential to book a slot as last year we were over subscribed. The event is weather dependant so if we have bad weather or any conditions affecting safety then we will cancel the day. If this happens we will try and book you in for another date as suitable. We plan to have a BBQ and light refreshments will be available.

I will be taking bookings from the 14th April.

To book either call 0785 81 33945 or email vThis email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and we will aim to get you on the water.



SUP Safety Trilogy.

It has been brought to the hounds attention that people are forgetting book 1 of How to SUP Safely. Here’s a reminder.


Don’t be a Dipstick use your dipstick.

The water can be shallow at the Varne, that paddle you’re holding can be dipped in the water to work out the depth under your board. Falling into shallow water just gets you closer to the ouch moment. You’re lucky to be paddling at the Varne which is pretty much free of underwater debris but go to many beaches and you’ll find loads to stub your toe or twist your ankle.

Remember if it’s not waist deep take a seat.


It’s good to fall flat.

Belly flop or back flop does not matter just try to use the least depth of water to avoid underwater obstacles. Stepping in feet first transmits all the force of the fall through your feet and ankles leaving you vulnerable to underwater debris. Definitely no diving.

Step away from the ouch moment.


Hands, knees and no bumpsadaisy.

Returning to the beach is a little more tricky than it first looks, with that wave following you in it is easy to step off twist your ankle and smack your head on the beach. Dropping to your hands and knees when it is still waist deep makes you much more stable on the board and less likely to encounter the ouch moment.

Think about conditions before posing.


Guest Authors

Right you lot, you can run but you can’t hide.

If you are reading this you will know The Varne News Hound is cocking his leg on the news of the day. It’s just a rolling update of activities, light hearted banter, tricks and tips. It is done this way so the posts are made under the anonymity of The Varne News Hound and no comments so no one can be trolled. The idea is to help, promote and inform in a kind and jovial way.

So why get on to you lot, well any sailing member can be a guest author, just have a word with the usual miscreants at the club and they will tell you where to send your words and pictures.

The rules are simple it has to get past vetting from Mark and Jane, no ifs or buts their decision is final.


Cheap Beer.

It’s always the last half that gets you!

If somebody, who will remain nameless, had gone home with his wife when told he would not of bought three copies of Lady Susan’s latest CD.


Beach Clean.

Sunday 4 March 2018

A big thank you to all those who turned out on a miserable Sunday morning to pick up rubbish from the beach. It is quite distressing the amount collected in a short time. Let's keep awareness of the Plastic Peril alive.

Those of you who did not turn out expect your membership to rise.

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Photography, a short course in taking better pictures.

Using the photo above as an example.

Taking photos into sun or bright sky is book 2 for the more advanced photographer. Understanding the exposure weighting of your camera is book 3. But, to keep it simple, if you remove the guy in the dayglo yellow and get him to stand behind the camera everybody would have been lit perfectly. If taking the photo indoors by removing his beany you get a very useful bounce flash feature.


 Miffy or Tiffy?

Here's a useful link for everyone.


All hands on deck Sunday 4 March 10am.

It’s time to clean the beach and stop the invasion of plastic.

Teas, Coffees and biscuits with chocolate provided.

Please come and help.


It's cold out, so get yourself a Neoprene Beany

or the Ion High Viz Safety Beanie

Join the Cone Heads today.





Christmas - well it is snowing.

If any of you were good enough for Santa to pay a visit and he got you a new wetsuit rather than add your old one to landfill how about giving it to the Varne Boat Club to earn extra points with him for his next visit.


Breaking News.

The ladies pee in their wetsuits too!
Well the men go commando.


Safety Tip

When you go to the beach you take a towel to dry yourself but what about one for someone in trouble. The untoward happens sometimes and you need to be prepared to dry someone or keep them warm while waiting for the emergency services. Take an extra towel with you.

Where is the thermal blanket in the club? We all should know.

Love is…. sharing a dry towel.



All hands on deck Sunday 4 March 10am.

It’s time to clean the beach and stop the invasion of plastic.

Teas, Coffees and biscuits with chocolate provided.

Please come and help.


Top Tip

Idiot of the Day

OK boys now I have your attention listen up.

Rigging a windsurf sail is not just a case of putting it on the beach and hoping for the best, there is a way to do it and be safe. Remember you are responsible for anybody that gets hurt or damage to property.

  1. Take your mast, boom, mast base, extension, rig puller and sail (tied or still in its bag) to the beach. None of this is going to blow away.
  2. Next take your board to the beach and point the nose into wind. Attach the mast base to the board.
  3. Take your sail out of its bag, put the bag through a foot strap to stop it blowing away.
  4. Rig your sail.
  5. Attach sail to board.
  6. Make sure board is upwind of sail and turn it upside down.

No sail should be left on the beach not plugged into a board.

If you are unsure ask someone to explain.

If you fail to follow this simple procedure and your rig blows away you will be exposed in the news as idiot of the Day. You have been warned.





BloKart Sunday

Sunday 25 February 2018

17 club members many of them BloKart virgins took to the sand to have some fun without getting wet. Mark Rose & Mark Serejko did a fantastic job making sure everybody succeeded and had a great time. Given the temperature of 2 deg c at best being able to jump into a BlowKart and have fun makes the Varne Boat Club a really special club with so many activities.


A big thank you to Julie for sharing her photos.



Mr I'm having way too much fun.



Two Days of Spring in February

17 & 18 February 2018

It can be warm in February, honest. Those of you who missed out it was forecast, you can get an App for that. There was not a lot of wind but the sun shone and kept us warm. Mark (him that must be obeyed?) took people out on the Tandem Windsurfer. The star of the weekend was the clubs Topaz dinghies, Magnox 1 & 2 (made by Topper), they sailed beautifully and gave a great deal of pleasure to those that sailed them.

Alex took the Hound in the Topaz, the boat was superb, but the hero of the day was Alex who got the Hound sailing in very little time. Very few people impress me but he does with his calm you’ve got to have a go to learn approach. Anybody who has not availed themselves of this club asset is missing out. Don’t be shy give it a go.

Zal mended a dumper but the fishermen still caught nothing with it, must be holding their rods wrong.


Topper Visit
Friday 16 February 2018

Wow what a privilege to be shown round the factory and given an insight to what they do. Welding the two halves of a topper together and installing the ancillaries.

Topper are a great British success story made locally in Ashford, thank you to those who gave us the tour.



The Varne hound is back to sniff the but of news, bringing you the latest stick from the beach with tricks, tips, mayhem and mischief.


BEACH CLEAN at the Varne, 4th March start time 10am, free car parking, gloves, pickers and bags all provided.

Teas and coffees available.

PLease come and support your local club before the plastic finaly takes  over!!

Local solutions to a global problem.

Water sports dates for 2018 (plus for the first time Blokarting on this page)

Varne Watersports RYA Push The Boat Out,  Sat May 5th (13.00-17.30)

NWF (National Water Sports Festival ) (8th-10 thJune) at Rutland Water, windsurfing and SUP National event

Varne Watersports  Blokarting contact Mark Serejko at   This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Bewl Water SUP Armada ,Guinness World record attempt (cancelled see below))

Hayling Island Round the island race on windsurfers or SUPs  Sat 22nd Sept, so get practising.

We have for a limited time only spaces in our boat compound for dinghy storage at only £40 per dinghy per year.


If you want a brilliant watersports holiday in the sun, then try Ocean Elements for one of the best holidays around. Several of our memebers have been to Greece with Ocean Elements over the last few years and had a great time. They have various activities such as SUPing, windsurfing, sailing, mountain biking, all instruction is by RYA instructors and is included in your holiday plus free use of equipment. Please mention the VBC at the time of booking, or see Mark,Nigel, Ant or Clinton for more details.

Above is a taster of what they do so well.... 



An other organised outing from the Club - this time to sail the Whitbread 60 - Blueprint out of Hamble. Eight of us in our group; - with the combination of perfect breeze and sunshine all day. Ben Ainslie and his motley crew on their Americas Cup 'dinghy' kept getting in our way,- but apart from that it was an outstanding day!




The Club at the Round Hayling Island Race 2017
Six club members enetered the race around Hayling Island which is over 14 miles long, racing against strong tides, low bridges shipping chanels and other National comeptitors.
Zane managed to windsurf the full Gold course against 41 competitors and came a brilliant 33rd place. Possibly one of the youngest competitors to ever get all the way round? Zal completed the Silver course a creditable 6th place. Jane and Zara got around the 4 mile SUP funboard course using two types of transport! Ant won the Silver windsurfing race even after equipment failure and even the editor managed to win something the Bronze SUP race. Well done to all who took part and get practising for next year!


SUP NEWS, Bewl Water 2018

It has just been reported by SUP Armada who run the Guinness World Record attempts at various locations around the country including Bewl Reservoir that there will be no SUP World Record events this year. This is great shame as the club have had two great days at Bewl in 2017 & 2018, the good news is the SUP World record holders in the club ( you know who you are ) are still world record holders!



Our guys had given a fair shot last Sunday on the Topper Topaz National in Whistable. Conditions were slightly lighter than ideal - so the race was not as fast and furious as one would have hoped.
Our two boats still have managed to finish the day in high spirits, well done to Alex, Zane, Jack and Rob!
Thanks for representing the club on our first national Race for many, many years!  

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Topper Topaz Race Training - The Varne WATER SPORT'S Club

Topper Topaz Race Training - The Varne Water sport's Club from Alex C H Andrews on Vimeo.


Waitrose Community Matters Scheme and the Varne Boat Club 2018

Great news from Waitrose, this April The Varne Water Sport's Club will be once again in their Community Matter Scheme. This will be the fifth  time we have been included in the  Waitrose scheme. To get extra money for the club go down to Waitrose purchase some items and then at the checkout ask for a  free scheme token and pop in the box outside with our club name on it. Please keep supporting them as so far they have very generously donated £1036 towards club funds.


Santa crashes at sea off the Varne

SUPers search for Santa on Christmas day.






 This years  planned day for the Push The Boat Out, is:

Saturday May 5th 13.00hrs- 17.30hrs

On offer are the usual windsurfing, SUP, kayaking and sailing, we will supplly all the equipment, wetsuits, buoyancy aids and instruction. It is essential to book a slot as last year we were over subscribed. The event is weather dependant so if we have bad weather or any conditions affecting safety then we will cancel the day. If this happens we will try and book you in for another date as suitable. We plan to have a BBQ and light refreshments will be available.

I will be taking bookings from the 14th April.

To book either call 0785 81 33945 or email vThis email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and we will aim to get you on the water.



Just Chillin at the Varne

I love this photo, must be worth a free drink at the bar. If you have't renewed your membership or joined yet this is what it's all about.



New Water Sports shop opens on Romney Marsh  GenXSports

Check out our new local water sports shop GenXSports and  all the very latest equipment at

The shop is located in Littlestone Road, Littlestone,  TN28 8LN on the way down to the Varne Boat club.

The shop is stocking Kite Boarding gear ,SUPs, WSUPs, wetsuits and accessories plus they have a cool coffee bar.

Brands such as Core, Brunotti, Element,Manera and Reef are in stock.  

Contact Tony on 01797 458 070 or mob 07808 548 070 for more info.



Windsurf around Europe anyone?

In 2015 Jono Dunnett became the first person to windsurf around the UK totaly unsupported in 98 days!

A copy of his book is doing the rounds in the club " Long Standing Ambition," which is an amazing read or brilliant early Christmas present.

Well not content with the UK, Jono is off on his travels again, this May he set off from the border of Russia and Norway and is sailing unaided again but this time around the entire mainland of Western Europe  to the Russian border in the East, a distance of 15,000 km.

To follow Jono log on to  Windsurf Round Europe, he is carrying a gps tracker and is at present just below La Rochelle France and still sailing!!!!



Spring is just around the corner, but the sea is still cold so stay warm and get seen on the water!

Winter is just behind us but the sea temeperature at this time of year is still very cold. Hypothermia is the wrong side of cool, so please play safe.

Wear a decent winter wetsuit, boots and a neoprene beanie or hood or even a helmet.

Make sure you can also be seen at sea, BLACK is NOT a good look at sea, wear a nice bright high viz bouyancy aid or day glow head gear, (ION  do a nice hi viz beanie) Those very nice peole at our local SAR (Search and Rescue)  helecopter team at Lydd recon a good way to be spotted from the air when in the water  is to splash water up in the air, it makes you more three dimensional!


Pop in to GenXsports in the Avenue at Littlestone to see what new gear Tony has  to keep away those winter blues.

Make sure your  nice and warm before you go out.

Take a mobile phone in an Aquapac 

Let someone know where you’re going and when you’ll be back.
Buddy up if possible.

Onshore winds are safer as if anything breaks you get a free ride back to the beach.

If in doubt don't go out and don't become a statistic!


Winter Watersports monthly quiz and get together club
Great night on 30th Jan, nautical quiz and dvd's. £110  raised and donated to the RNLI guys next door, thank you all for your generous donantions. Plus ION for supplying 5 neoprene high viz beanie hats and Musto at Ashford for the very nice Musto bag  Everybody had Fish and Chips washed down with a beverage of their choice.  Looks like the next meeting will be in March, will post here as soon as a date is confirmed.


 Topper Factory visit 

All the 10 places have now been filled for the Topper dinghy Factory tour at Ashford on Friday 16th Feb, if its as good as we expect we might try and run a second visit.


Great Windsurf Videos
Check out this link a really good video on how to Carve Gybe.


Magnox 1 and Magnox 2
Fantastic new addition to the sailing fleet for members to use, and a second donation by those very nice people at Magnox.

We have also had great support from the Roger De Haan Charitable trust of over £18,600 of funding. Waitrose have helped the Varne with its Community Matters Scheme as have David Baker our local County Councillor and KCC.

MUSTO at the outlet in Ashford have given the club some great deals on our buoyancy aids and not forgetting the brilliant help and support from Steve at ACTIV of Folkestone.



A Big Thank you
Members saying thank you to everybody who has helped the club over the last years!